20 Channels and Nothing On

My mom was wondering why we had bought a big, flat-panel TV if we were only going to get basic broadcast channels.

"We don't watch that much TV," I automatically responded.

"Then why the huge TV? Why spend all that money for something you don't watch?"

Well, for one thing, it wasn't that much money. It was the store generic brand, which lacks a lot of the bells and whistles -- OK, all of them -- but it does work.

The larger point, of course, is the larger screen. I'd rather not spend every TV-watching second with my nose twelve inches from a display. I do like watching movies, and the TV I do watch, I'd like to be able to actually see. From a couch. A second-hand futon, in fact. I don't think that's ridiculous, absurd, or extravagant, even if we only have about fifteen legitimate, English-speaking channels.

That said, broadcast channels have a lot of dead time. And by dead time, I mean they fill a lot of their programming with stuff that will melt your brain. If I have to watch one more celebrity gossip show, I will have to serve up my noggin as a chopped liver substitute. Not the best of situations.

So, I made a deal with the cable company to get a few months of cheap "family" service, which includes Comedy Central and the Food Network. That's all we really need. I would pay for just those two channels if I could.

I still can't catch every visual gag on the Daily Show. No matter: I get to see most of it and hear it loud and clear until March, and that should keep me warm through a long, cold winter.