Read, Memorize, Eat

I have a rule: I do not read aloud from pieces of paper. Ever.

OK, so I broke that rule today. Sort of. But it's generally a bad idea.

Even if I write something myself and use large, clear print, I still have to hold the paper close to my face. So close, in fact, that it muffles what I say. And then, inevitably, there comes a word I can't immediately read, due to my eye bouncing off to some random place (as is its wont). I lose track of where I am, forget where I was in the reading (nervous anyway), and thus start to stutter, halt, and add an "uh" or an "um."

None of that inspires the listener. It certainly doesn't inspire me.

Today, at a professional development session that involved writing dialogue (I do have good jobs), we all wrote a page of a scene. We started going around the room, reading our writing aloud. I immediately started to strategize: should I ask someone to read it aloud? Should I just pass?

But then I looked down at the page, and saw that I had only written eight measly lines. As a playwright, I constantly ask actors to memorize entire pages of dialogue at a time, sometimes with monologues that stretch five or six minutes. And I was going to pass on eight lines?

I set to work memorizing, thinking through each turn of phrase, each comma and question mark. As we commented on the other scenes (I was listening, I swear), I snuck in a close peek at a line or two. I was determined.

Finally, come my turn, I read aloud. I spoke clearly, looking in the direction of the page without being able to see a single word. People listened. People laughed. People applauded. Ladies and gentlemen, there was joy in Mudville, for mighty Caisy had, um... OK, fine, no great accomplishment... but it was a good feeling.

I still hate acting, though. Not when other people do it; just me. It's like stepping into an empty fish bowl and trying to pretend you're in your living room.