Ask a Blind Guy, Part 4

Q: How do you make a Venetian blind?

A: Good question. It’s a bit time-consuming, but well worth the effort. Here’s how:

First, make a series of long, thin flaps that are the width of your window. Make small holes at either end of the flaps, three on each side. The flaps can be made of treated wood, plastic, or any other weather-resistant hard material.

Next, use thin but durable string to tie together the flaps. The holes will come in handy for that.

Once the flaps are strung together, build a contraption for the top of the window that will hold up the flaps and leave strings dangling to lift the flaps all the way to the top or simply open and close them. Attach this contraption, along with the flaps, to a window that faces due west. Leave the flaps down and closed.

Finally, invite a native of Venice to your home, for the stated purpose of watching the sun set on a clear day. As he approaches the window, quickly open the blinds so that the sun shines directly into his eyes. Force him to stare at the sun for at least twelve minutes. If, after this, he can still see, poke out his eyes with a pen knife. That should do the trick.