Yes, I'm Talking to You

I'm often surprised at how difficult it can be to order a sandwich.

The best place to get lunch is at a deli. In New York, you can find one of these by walking to the corner and looking around. Quality and price varies, but the usual selection (turkey, ham, roast beef, cheese) will usually be the same everywhere. You don't have to read a menu -- a good thing, in my case -- because you know what they have before you walk in.

Sometimes, I order with no problem at all. The deli worker says, "Next," and I say what I want. They make the sandwich and hand it to me. Done.

Sometimes, it's not so simple. They say, "Next," and I start talking.

"Could I get turkey and Swiss on a roll, with..." I begin. This is about the time I notice that the deli server is not paying attention to me. He's looking off into the ceiling, probably fascinated by the number of tiles. "Hi," I say.

"Yes?" he responds, as if he hadn't noticed I was talking to him.

The problem is that I usually don't make eye contact. I can force it and get pretty close, but if I'm not thinking about it, I'll look off to the side of the head. This signals to some people that I'm not talking to them at all. I get that: fully sighted people are programmed from birth to only react to those who look them in the eye. It prevents them from answering questions that weren't directed at them. And, hey, that's a horrible thing. Wars have started, governments have been overturned, because somebody dared to answer an otherwise directed question.

Seriously, I can understand why this happens when there are a bunch of people behind the counter. Nobody knows who I'm talking to, so they just assume it's the other guy. But when it's one person, alone, it's a little odd, isn't it? Why wouldn't you expect the next person on line to address you? Doesn't "next" mean "next"? If I'm not ordering a sandwich from you, why am I listing ingredients into space? Do I like to practice my order out loud before giving you my final answer? Is this Who Wants to Be a Sandwich-Eater?

"Yes, Regis... My final answer is tuna on wheat with tomato."

I don't doubt that working at a New York deli counter is a grueling, unforgiving job with little or no appreciation. It's not a conspiracy of deli workers against the legally blind. It's indicative, though. People have all kinds of weird associations with eye contact. Most of them are instinctual and/or subconscious, and very few of them make sense. At least, they don't make sense to me. Do they make sense to you?

More to the point, do you have any associations with a lack of eye contact? No? Seriously? Come on; look me in the eye, and tell me you ... Oh. Well, there you go.